Drown
by fangirlsweunite
Summary: Her heart stopped for a moment, and everything that existed in that time, everything and infinity, was hers. And the ice in his eyes couldn't stop her, not in that millisecond. Not in the stars that was hers, because they danced in her eyes.
1. The Reaping

**AN: Hey there! I can't decide a name for this story, so the one right now isn't permanent. If you think of a good name, I am open to suggestions! So my fellow fangirls, let us begin!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, although I do dream of it...all rights go to Suzanne Collins!**

**Warning: If you are a grammar nazi, you should...carry on reading! There isn't going to be any mistakes, hopefully.**

_**-'Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be my privilege to have my heart broken by you.'- Augustus Waters, John Green~ The Fault In Our Stars.**_

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Reaping Day. I didn't know that a name could cause so much terror and fear, but not for myself. I fear for her. I've always protected her, being the older sibling. She won't ever admit of course, it's one of the pathetic squabbles we have as twins.

But as much as that goes, we look like each other as much as a fish and a tree would. She has sun-kissed skin and long, flowing, chocolate brown hair that falls straight. Her sea green eyes are beautiful, and they sparkle like emeralds when she laughs. No wonder that it is her, that Finnick Odair is falling in love with.

As much as Annie trys to deny the fact that she in love with him, she can't help the smile on her face when I mention his name. I am not jealous of them, Finn is like a brother to me and he acts like one. He was the one who looked after us, when mother and father died.

He gave us a house, and fed us, he kept us alive. He won his games at 14 and we were 12 then. He is 20 now and Annie is in the position that most women envy. She gets dirty looks, sometimes, but she never takes it into consideration.

I, on the other hand, have long, dark, jet black hair, that reaches my hips in waves. It is strange for someone from District 4, to have that hair colour, as most of us have golden blondes and brown hair. And it is even stranger for someone to have porcelain skin and stormy, grey eyes like I do.

I look over to Annie, she is still asleep, her hair sprawled out in different directions. I creep over to her, silently, careful not to wake her.

"Hey Annie, wake up." I shake her gently. No response. "Annie, it's Reaping Day, we're going to be late." Still no response."Annie, Finn's here."

At this she woke with a yawn.

"Finn's here? Why didn't you wake me earlier? Honestly-" she turned to the mirror beside her. "Oh. My. Crap. Finnick's here and I look like a slob. Why?!" she cried in an overly dramatic manner.

"Annie, calm down. Finn isn't really here but he will be soon. Get ready, you know what day it is," I didn't mean to put it as harshly as that but she didn't notice.

"Humph. You really shouldn't trick me like that," she sighed and skipped to the bathroom. Not exaggerating but Annie spends hours in there. Instead of wasting time, I head downstairs and grab a knife. I twirl it in my hands and slide my finger across the cool blade.

I didn't train at the center but at Finn's house, where he taught me everything he knows, from knots to tridents. My personal favourite, breaking the District 4 traditions once again, is he sword instead of a trident. But never, would I ever, use one of those weapons to harm somebody.

It is only then, when I train, that Finnick is not with Annie, for once. Annie has never been one for that kind of stuff. She loves the girly side. Infact, she even made our Reaping dresses. She won't show me though, she'll wait till we can put them on together.

I throw the knife in my hands at an apple that is 15 feet away. It hits it where I want it to and I am pleased that I am not out of practise.

I hear Annie getting out the bathroom and I race up the stairs and lock the door before she can come back to do her hair. Honestly, that girl.

I quickly strip and wash in cold water, and find pleasure in completely submerging my head under the water. I stay like that for a few minutes then run my fingers through my hair to ease out tangles. I wrap a towel round myself, hoping Finn isn't here yet.

"Annie!" I called. I heard her muttering something about scaring the living daylight out of her but still came out of our room and did a twirl. Her dress was beautiful and pink like you would expect of Annie.

"Well, do you like is it nice? Do you like it?" she asked, half rambling.

"Annie, it's beautiful. I can't wait to see mine," I said, taking her hand and letting her spin. Her dress was baby pink with little aztec prints on it and little spaghetti straps. It fell to about mid-thigh and she accompanied it with a little brown belt and brown sandals.

This is the girl that stole the heart of Finnick Odair and I know that she will be hated by all the women in Panem, except me.

She covers my eyes and leads me to the dress. I give a small gasp when I see it because it is perfect for me. So simple and light and- and I love it.

It is my favourite shade of blue, one that is not the colour of the sea or sky. It is floaty, with little shapes and cut-outs rising from the bottom and below the bust, is a a satin belt with some frills and buttons above it. It is noticeably simpler than Annie's but I love it.

"Annie, I don't know what to say, it's beautiful," I enveloped her in a hug, squeezing her tightly as if I never want to let go. Maybe I don't, this might be the last time I could smile, without it being fake. I shouldn't talk like that.

"You're welcome, let me do your hair before Finnick comes," she takes my hair and gently starts combing it. She takes a small bunch of hair from each side and twists them then pins it together. I look different, wih my hair down, normally I have it up in a ponytail or a plait. It looks nice, but then Annie ruins the moment by squealing.

I guess Finnick is here. He lets him in himself, seen as we're so used to him around here.

"Annie, it's only Finnick, the boy you've been madly in love with, for the past 6 years," I tease, and if looks could kill, I'd be dead.

Despite my teasing comments, she still flies down the stairs and launches herself into Finnick's arms as I walk down in a more orderly manner. Finnick presses a kiss to Annie's cheek and she blushes and he kisses my forehead and I only chuckle at his flirty ways.

"You look ravishing, Annie, my pearl," he jokes, then e turns to me."And I must say, Lia. You look absolutely gorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen you this way," he says, in mock shock, holding his hand to his heart.

I laugh and twirl, flashing the jean shorts I had under the dress."Old habits die hard."

"Lia! Why? What is wrong with wearing a dress?" She asks.

"I am wearing a dress." I knew I had won that round. Annie mutters something about being childish while Finnick stands here looking amused.

"Shall we go, miladys?"

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It's not time for the Reaping yet, so we stop by the sea. It is a part of our life, the sea. It is in our blood, we are stronger in water. It's how we live. And when we die, are ashes are poured into the sea. It is our lifeline.

It's cruel, to think that two people will never be able to feel the sand again or worse, never see the sea again. I look over to Annie and Finnick, running around and splashing each other. I might as well relax for a while, so I go running and jump onto Annie's back.

We run around for a while, Finn chasing us and he pushes us into the sea but failed, as he fell in with us. My side is in stitches, from laughing and we lie there on the sand, drying our wet clothes.

We will never get a moment like that again.

After a while, we all know that it is time to leave, but there is one final thing we must do.

We all stand at the shore line and hold hands, all silent for a few minutes. Slowly, I bring three fingers to my lips, then press them on my heart then to the sea. It is an old symbol, with lots of meaning. The three fingers is supposed to represent a trident which is very important to District 4.

The trident comes from a long way back, to the time way, way before us or it is simply, a myth. It was the weapon of a sea god, who once looked after these waters and his name was Posideon. As stupid as it sounds, I believe it's real. There has to be a time before us.

Clutching each other, we make our way to the Reaping. Even Finnick is silent. This is our last year, no more worries after this one. Finnick and Annie can get married and it'll all be perfect.

We reach the town square and Finnick tips Annie's chin up and kisses her on the lips and kisses her for a good few minutes.

He turns to me and kisses the tip of my nose. He looks sad and tired. He doesn't want to do this anymore, he doesn't want to see more people die.

"Annie, Lia, stay strong. I'll be back after the Games. You'll be fine till then." He tries to reassure us but it's not working, Annie is gripping my hands so hard, I know that there will be bruises there.

He says his goodbyes and we walk over to the sign in desk. Annie never likes this part, but I know it helps her if I am there. We walk over to the 18 year old section, where we are all huddled in a claustrophobic way.

A silly woman with blue hair and pink skin, trots onto the stage. She looks absolutely ridiculous in a gold dress that looks like tin foil. Catching the sight of Finnick Odair, she stages a trip, right next to him, in expectance that he might catch her.

I can feel Annie tensing up at this but Finnick just lets the woman fall. The District starts laughing and she turns red which is surprising because it is thought that it would be impossible to see through pink skin.

She is obviously embarrassed, and she brushes it off but the District only laughs louder.

"Alright, alright, settle down! I am Diona Yullstone and I will be your escort!" She shrieks. There is a limited pitch in someone's voice and I swear, she exceeds it.

She goes blah, blah, blah and something, something, same video every year, something, blah, blah, shriek, shriek,and it's time.

"Oh, let me be fun! Boys first!" It was unexpected but I can't wait any longer. The dread is eating my soul, it can't be us, it won't be us. Her fingers spend a lifetime choosing.'Let the poor boy have his death wish already,' I think.

"Leon Mcabree! Come up here you lucky boy! Any volunteers?" She asks. No-one does. Poor boy.

"Alrighty then! Girls next!" My stomach wrenches as she chooses one, her perfectly manicured nails, opening the slip of paper that could change one's life.

The words come next are a blizzard to me. It is not my name. It is hers. And there is nothing in this world that can fix my heart.

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**AN: How was it? That was the most I've written for a first chapter so I'm happy :) I would leave a link for Annie and Lia's Reaping dress but my device won't let me :( Oh well, but let me know what you think. Love you all!**


	2. Last Goodbye

**AN: Guys, you people are the best! Honestly, I didn't think I would get any reviews but I did! Thank you so much, I am absolutely ecstatic! But anyway, I think I should update around once a week and I promise I will because... it's the Easter Holidays! Don't wait for the update because normally, I end on cliffhangers. With that..**

_-'Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear and how to be free from it. That's the point.'- Four, Veronica Roth ~ Divergent_

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"Annie Cresta!"

And it was at those words, that my world fell and came crashing down, broken into a thousand, million pieces. Nothing will ever be the same again.

The grip on my hand went loose and Annie's knees buckled and she fell, as she became a wreck of sobs. Finnick had a pained expression on his face like he was trying not to lose it on stage.

I drop down next to Annie, and wrap my arms around her shaking body. I stroke her hair and try to soothe her.

"Annie, you'll be fine. You're going to be alright, don't you trust me?" I ask her, she turns to look at me, her hair stickin to her face.

"Come on Annie, get up." The peacekeepers are coming to take her, and I step infront of her protectively. They shove me aside and pull Annie out of the crowd, her cries increasing.

"Don't you dare touch her," I say, glaring at the peacekeepers. If they lay a finger on her, I'll break their hand.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as a tribute!" I shout, making my voice heard. Annie's cries stop and the peacekeepers let go of her.

I push past them, giving Annie's hand a quick squeeze as I walk upto the stage. I make eye contact with Finn and I see the pain in his eyes. Out of everyone here, he has it the worst. His lover will be torn apart and his sister will be dead.

I don't want to think I have chance because I know I don't. No matter how much I've been trained, I can't bring myself to do it. I can't kill a living, breathing person. If I win, 23 other children will have to die. And I can't live with that.

"Alright! We have a volunteer, how exciting! Come up here sugarplum!" Her sickly sweet voice makes everything a whole lot worse as my legs start shaking as everyone's eyes turn to me. I can't look scared. I can't look weak. I have to hold my head high and look as if I have no fear. No, no-one can do that. I have to control my fear and keep it in. Don't let them see.

"Here we are, sweetiepie! Now what is your name?" She asks. I take a deep breath and hope my voice doesn't sound shaky.

"Natalia Cresta."

"Ooh, I bet my buttons that was your sister," She says and I don't need reminding.

"Yes, yes it was." I don't allow my voice to wobble, not infront of them.

"Alrighty! Ladies and gentlemen, the tributes of District 4 for the 74th Hunger Games!" She shouts, expecting a massive applause and cheers but instead recieves silence. They do the symbol, the three fingered trident but except it is to us and not the sea. They respect us and our choices. My choices. And the action is touching but in the last moments, I only have eyes for the sea.

"Okey-dokey, shake hands please and we will be on our way!"

Leon's grip is strong and I let my hand go loose in his, trying to look weak and scared. He notes this and flashes me a smile, a real, genuine smile. And that was it before we were ushered off to the Justice Building to say our last goodbyes.

I am separated from everyone and pushed into a luxurious room that is heavily guarded by peacekeepers. They are rough and gruffly tell me I have a few minutes with each person.

I sit alone for a while, only being able to look at the paintings of various fish on the wall. The place gives me the creeps, the air stiff and silent.

Finally, Annie comes rushing into the room, a sobbing mess and falling over her own feet. I catch her and let her cry on my shoulder.

"Annie, it's going to be fine, don't worry." I whisper into her ear, soothing her. She looks up at me and her eyes are red and puffy.

"Don't leave me Lia, I'll have no-one else," I know what she means and my world is gone. I can't cry in front of her, I have to be strong. But I can't. I summon everything in me, to stop. I don't know what, stop time or stop the fear in me.

But it must be powerful, if it takes pain, fear, love and emotion to summon it. She presses a kiss to my forehead and before I know it, the peacekeepers are dragging her out the doors. I envy time. It is a skilled ninja.

"Be strong." She whispers and that is the last time I will ever see my sweet Annie. The doors are opened again, after a few seconds and my best friends come rushing in. These are the people I've been ripped from. They get to live while I die. Should I be the one suffering? No, it's a stupid question, I volunteered. It was my choice to become... this.

My best friend, Elsie, is the one I've known the longest, since I was 4. I grew up with her, her house just round the corner from mine. Laurel, who has already trapped me in a hug with her grip of steel, is the one who crept up on me. I never really knew her till we started talking in school and discovered we like the same things and the rest. But it was really when she punched a girl in the stomach for bad mouthing me and Annie when we really became friends.

And it is even more surprising that the girl she punched, Cara, came back and said sorry. She is the last one here and the only one crying her eyes out. It's funny how things change.

Suddenly, Elsie takes me by the shoulders and give me a good shake before looking straight into my eyes. It slightly intimidates me but Elsie's eyes are soft.

"I am so, so sorry Lia," she whispers, tears welling up in her eyes. Am I doing this to them?

"Hey, you've not got anything to be sorry for, it's not your fault," I say softly, then her tears fall and she has to turn away and Laurel takes over.

"Lia, I know you're not one for this emotional bullshit. Here, take this, Annie gave it to me on the way out, she wanted me to give it to you," she hands me a locket, in the shape of a seashell and I know what it is immediately.

"I thought I lost this!" At one point in my life, this was all I had left and I was broken when I lost it.

"You did," Laurel said softly,"But Annie found it." And the strong Laurel that I know and love breaks her shell. Cara is next to speak up.

"Do you remember a time when you hated me?" She asks, grinning at her own memory. I smile too, I do remember.

"With a passion," I chuckle softly. She smiles at this and I know that hate was just a memory.

"Lia just remember that can and will have two different meanings but you can come home and you will come home," she smiles sadly,"And if you don't, we will always love you."

Then hell breaks loose as I just get a blurry sight of Elsie and Laurel shouting at the peacekeepers as they try and drag my friends away and then Laurel punching them. One gets a hit to the nose and blood starts poring so he sees to that instead of restraining the angry girls. I hear Laurel shouting something along the lines of 'VICTORY, son of a bitch,' and she runs out of the doors. But she turns back one last time.

"I love you, Lia." And then she's gone. The others are taken out by force but they don't go without a fight, struggling before I hear one last 'I love you'. Someone cares. Someone will care that I am missing. They've just got to live with it their whole lives.

Then I am crowded by peacekeepers, a few muttering about my bitchy friends. This brings a smile to my face, they rebelled for me and I give my respect to them. But soon enough, I am pushed into a car with the ever so annoying Diona to one side and my fellow tribute Leon on my other. The car takes us to the train station at a very slow pace and according to Diona, we are to blame the sand in the engine. She's a joy, you can imagine.

We are greeted at the station by a mob of people, reporters and journalists of the sort. We are instructed to smile at everyone and be pleased and happy. The people do nothing to keep their voices down and their harsh comments and judgement make me grit my teeth and clench my fists to tame my raging anger.

'I don't think the girl has a chance, I mean look how skinny she is!'...'No but the boy does, I'd bet on him,'...'You're wrong, they both won't survive the first day in the games!'

They were betting on us! I had to hold my temper till we board the train but then again, I didn't have one. I was never in the mood to fight. I only ever do when I'm told to at training. So I let my anger go and just smile for the cameras, even though I despise it.

I am gratefulwhen we board the train, it's a little bit of peace but not for long as Diona's shrieks fill the air.

"Time to meet your mentors! Come one, oh this is so exciting! Did you know it's my first time doing this? Yes, yes I know I look very professional but no..." I zoned out after that, pretending to listen to her babbles nodding sometimes and agreeing with her even though I wasn't listening. Finnick would be here in a matter of minutes.

"Oh yes! Here are your mentors, the delightful Mags, and the handsome and charming, Finnick Odair!" She blushes sightly when Finnick walks out but no emotions are displayed on his face as I do myself. I stay still, as they decide what to do with us.

"I need to talk with you," I say to Finnick, and before he can respond, I am dragging him off to his room.

"My room is that one, darling," he points out and I turn on my heel and slam open the door before dropping him on the bed.

"Don't call me that." I huffed, he's back to his flirty manner. The one who winks and flirts with everybody and only wears his signature smirk.

"I'm sorry," he says, rubbing his arm where I grabbed him,"And thank you," he adds, sadly. For what?

"For volunteering for Annie," he says, getting that I didn't catch on. We stay silent for a minute then I plop down on the bed next to him and bury my face in my hands.

"I can't do this Finnick. I can't win. I can't kill." I cry as Finnick pulls me into his arms. He hushes me and rocks me, getting into a rhythm and I'm homesick as ever.

"You are amazing with a light sword, great with knives and you can handle a trident. You're fantastic with knots, and you know the basic survival skills. Sure you're not perfect, but no-one likes someone who is," as reassuring as he is, I don't feel comforted.

"I can't kill someone," I repeat. Any of his advice won't help."I can't live with guilt and the nightmares," he sighs, he knows I'm right.

"I see where you're coming from, but don't give up on me just yet." But I have to. I have to give up everything and everyone. I have to give my life.

"I'm scared Finn, I'm so afraid. So very, very afraid," I can't lie at this point because, well...I can't. He brings me to face him.

"Of what?" He asks, softly. It's not a case of the monster in the cupboard. Or the boogeyman under the bed. It's the case of the nightmares I'll be plagued by and the monster in me.

"I don't know! Of the dark! Being alone. I'm scared of time and then and now! I'm scared of losing and winning. I'm scared of, of THEM! And most of all, I'm scared of death and dying. Because that's the time when I won't be alive anymore and darkness conquers one more person. I can't be alive if I die but if I live, I'll want to die!" My voice raises with every word I say, through anger.

"And I'll let them win." This time, my voice isn't louder than a whisper and I drop to the bed, a mess.

Even I can't make sense of my own words so I doubt Finnick will. I don't know who I am anymore and I am so lost.

"That was very poetic."

I turn to stare at him and let out a little laugh, trust him to be optimistic.

"Am I selfish for thinking that? No, I'm a coward, aren't I?" I ask him, though I already know.

"No, just very realistic. I'd worry if you weren't scared. But sometimes, it's better to imagine the possibilities than think of all the real ones."

"That," I say,"Was very poetic."

"Well I do try," he says, bowing to an imaginary audience,"But I'm being serious, Lia. I want you to be- No, I imagine you as the strong girl from home bfut kind and innocent not to take a single life," he slowly explains, waiting for me to agree.

"Right. A strong girl from a career district but I don't kill anyone," I take in his words,"Okay, how does that work?" I ask, extremely confused.

He rethinks his decision but slowly, a wicked grin appears on his face.

"You're going to be the next Johanna Mason."

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**AN: Oh my gosh, I am so sorry about the late update! To all the people who reviewed thank you but I let you down and you all wanted more, I am so sorry!**

**But feel sorry for me because I moved and the place doesn't have any wi-fi :( But a fangirl can't live without wi-fi so I found a spot in the house that connects, yay! Speaking about fangirls, I don't suppose you could follow my instagram account: fangirlsweunite**

**It would mean a lot! Soo did you notice that my quote at the beginning always has something to do with the story, just a little hint...**

**But till next time, my fellow fangirls! (Just asking, who's seen Divergent, the movie? I have, it's awesome! Another question, who read the book first, the movie second? )**


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